Sunday, April 3, 2011

Your Syllabus

Syllabus Day is a time-honored tradition in adult education - the day where you spend a total of five minutes in the classroom receiving a piece of a paper. Then you proudly stand back up and leave, ready to collect your next piece of paper. All these pieces of paper you will struggle to find once mid-terms and finals come your way. I say, if we're going to parody instruction, we might as well parody it correctly.

Now, I say parody - but we're going to be more serious at certain times than others. At best, we hope we get you to laugh along with us at the ridiculousness of how seriously we take ourselves. At worst, we hope that we might annoy you into perhaps altering some of the more annoying behaviors that occur in the world of Twitter RP.

At any rate, here is your syllabus:

Grammar & Spelling 101

The basics. This should be a prerequisite for roleplay. Words are the paint and brush that you are using to paint your character, paint your scenes. If you don't understand something basic like how to remove the cap from the paint tube or not to sit in a poorly ventilated room huffing it, then you're going to have problems. 

Now, obviously, not everyone speaks English as their primary language (not that this is an excuse - often the people who abuse it the worst are those who should be considered fluent in it).  Not everyone is going to be at the same level. No one is expecting Shakespeare or a graduate school thesis. 

Unless you really want to. 
If you do, make it sexy, thou fog-brained strumpets!

However, we're probably talking about a list of maybe 20 or so errors that happen most commonly. Become more aware of what you are typing, you may cut down on 50% of your errors right there. 

OOC: The Player-Character Line 204

For the syllabus, I'm going to keep this really simple, because this ends up turning into a tangled clusterfuck once we start examining it from all the angles. 

You are not your character.

What? No. No buts. You're really, seriously not your character. I promise. 

But then, some of you know this. In fact, some of you spend a good deal of time utilitizing your RP twitter account to do anything but be your character.

Melodramatic Tropes 311

Bad writing is bad writing. Melodrama is melodrama. Should your character have some bad things happen to them? Absolutely. Should your character have every possible bad thing in the history of possible bad things happen to them? Think really carefully before answering this, please. 

Godmodding 434A: "Get your stinkin' paws off me, you damn dirty ape!"

Charlton Heston didn't seem like he enjoyed getting his life run by the monkey people, did he? 

Damn Dirty Godmodding Apes!

So, how can you handle the overpowered morons out there who will take advantage of the fact that you, stupidly, WANT to roleplay with them. That's what we'll be covering in the first half.

Godmodding 434B: Treat others as you wish to be treated.

There is an old saying that one in three people is in an idiot. And if you look to your left and right and still don't see one, well - guess who it is? So, the second half of this discussion will be able what happens when, horror of horrors, you're the godmodder. 

Advanced Beekeeping 610:

Having a good quality RP family around you is very much like being a bee charmer. It is being able to ignore all the annoying buzzing noises that are happening around you, in the hopes that everyone working together can create an intricate honeycomb network that will house the sweetest honey imaginable. RP jackpot. 

You have to be able to be calm. Even if you are going to be losing it on the inside, in front of those bees - especially the new bees, you have to remain cool and collected. Otherwise, new members to the hive are going to fly away or you're going to get stung repeatedly. Bees are surprisingly good at stinging you in the junk.

This bee seriously wants to fuck you up.

You need to know when to put on the beesuit to protect yourself. For a lot of people, beekeeping is a hobby. You need to be able to prioritize. Sometimes you'll need to be able to walk away entirely.  This could means walking away from a storyline, obsessive fangirls (stalk much?), an RP family, or roleplay altogether.

At the end of the day, nothing is forcing you to beekeep. And it is your responsibility as an adult to know whether you're having fun anymore.

Buzz, buzz, buzz. 

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